“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
The person you are with matters a lot to your psychological condition.
If you are with a person who can make you very uncomfortable, you may get tired easily, if you spend time with a person you feel comfortable with, you will feel energised and motivated.
If you don't know how to choose your friends or people to be with, here are the three features of a person that I think it's comfortable to be with.
The advice that I can suggest to you on how to deal with the people you don't like is that before you start disliking them, you can carefully look at how a person behaves so that you can avoid the future negative emotion towards that person.
Also Read: How to Deal with People I Don't Like
Comfortable talking or not talking
I consciously choose my friends very carefully because I don't want any future conflict or fight and also I don't want to waste my time by spending time with someone that I don't feel comfortable with.
I think it's important that you feel comfortable when you're talking to your friend and also you want to feel comfortable when not talking to your friends.
This is very difficult to explain but sometimes, two people go well together very well, and sometimes two people never match together.
This is because the atmosphere that everyone has is so different that similar types of people go on well together.
I've been to several countries and I've lived in separate countries and with or without a cultural difference, the occasion that I have to sit down with the people I kind of don't like, but nowadays I'm getting better and better to handle myself being in front of the people I don't like.
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You need to control yourself and tell yourself that "I realise that I do not like this person, so I'm going to have a healthy distance in between."
This looks very simple but telling yourself that you realise it will help you to become less uncomfortable at the moment you are spending time with the person you don't like.
Deep understanding and thoughtful communication
Deep understanding and thoughtful communication are essential for a smooth human relationship.
If someone is feeling depressed, then normally, of course, I would try to listen a lot from that person and if needed I also try to give that person some advice on the topic that the person is worried about or depressed.
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If someone is lack thoughtful communication, then that person will bring up a fun topic, at least for that person, and the person who is depressed may feel offended.
This happened to me sometime in my early 20s, and at that time I didn't have enough experience handling my emotion and handling human relationships, so until now I do remember feeling like "Why is this person talking so fun and happy topic even though I'm depressed?"
Respectful attitude towards everyone
As a human being having a respectful attitude is very basic and very important, and since I try to be respectful to everyone as much as possible, I found out that the people I spend time with the most are also very respectful attitude person.
When I introduce my best friend to another friend of mine, the atmosphere is very calm peaceful and respectful so I feel very comfortable.
Also since I note that these two will meet for the first time, but I know that both of them are super respectful of the people, I do not worry about conflict or a fight happening.
If you try to be a friend with someone but if you find that person not respectful after spending several times together, then you don't have to push yourself to be that person.
Who to be friends with is free of your choice, so unless the occasion is professional or job related, you can always choose who to be with.
I do understand that for some people it is very difficult to say no to someone else.
I was like this type of person several years ago but I practised a lot to say no, and now I feel that saying no to something I don't feel comfortable with makes me very comfortable.
To stay it short, the school to avoid communication with people you don't like is important, But I think the skill to realise that you are comfortable or uncomfortable with a person is also very important.
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”